So this is my first time making a blog. I have never attempted and I decided to get all my frustration and feelings out. I will try to be positive at times as well. After having a baby and losing it the day before she was born really is a toll on you. I have had so many emotions that have played on my attitude that freaks me out at times. I am sad that I don't get to be with Madeleine right now but at times I feel very angry. I don't know who to be angry at. I can't be mad at God because he didn't do anything. I guess I can just be mad at the situation. I hope I can crawl out of this phase before it takes me over. I guess I can't let it though. Your dreams can be shattered so quickly that you don't even get to blink. I feel that many of my dreams have been shattered. I wonder sometimes if happiness is something that only happens in the movies. Wonderful husband, kids, home and success. Everything just slips on by without being able to taste it for very long. I get a glimpse and then it is gone.
Madeleine is the only thing that keeps me going. I look at her pictures and know that I can have the best thing later on. The time is sometimes unbearable I want to scream and run run run. Is anything out there that will lift me up out of my sorrow. Can I breathe? Yes there is but give it time and let yourself mourn is what I have to say.
